


Between a Rock and a Hard Place

by hanasuz



Series: War & Reminisces: The Jean Kirschtein Chronicles [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gen, Historical References, Jeankasa Week, Masturbation, Other, POV Jean Kirstein, Penis In Vagina Sex, Post-Canon, Shower Sex, War, jeankasa - Freeform, jeanmika
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:56:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23212132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanasuz/pseuds/hanasuz
Summary: Queen Historia, Armin, Hange, Levi, Hange, Connie, Hitch and Mikasa rally behind Jean as he is ensnared in one of the greatest war crimes in naval history. A story about integrity, resilience, loyalty, friendship and the healing power of love.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein
Series: War & Reminisces: The Jean Kirschtein Chronicles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658563
Comments: 40
Kudos: 21





	1. In a Flash

**Author's Note:**

> A few years ago I watched a French documentary film about the 1915 sinking of the British ocean liner RMS Lusitania. I found the incident very intriguing, especially since it happened in the early 20th century, a period similar to the setting of the Attack on Titan manga. It made me wonder, what would happen if the sinking occured on Paradian shores and Jean Kirschtein was a witness to it? What follows is a highly fictionalized story with references to the real historic incident. I made up the maths/figures/technologies and dialogue: none of them make sense in a real-world setting. Please pardon the inaccuracies and inventions, which I cheekily ascribe to artistic license.  
> 

Paradian Royal Navy Fleet Admiral Jean Kirschtein stood on the deck of the battleship _HMS Erwin Smith_ , arms crossed over his chest, looking out into the deceptively peaceful ocean. Soon the waters will be swarming with ships and boats carrying journalists and investigators the world over. In the meantime, it was pretty quiet, except for the ubiquitous seagulls overhead. It was a strange atmosphere, after the chaotic pace of events these last twenty four hours. The atrocity of what had happened rushed in on him and threatened to overwhelm him. He shut his eyes, willing his ragged breathing to calm down. The worst was over. 

No, it was just the beginning. How could that have even happened? Why was he in the wrong place at the wrong time, becoming the unwilling eyewitness to what must be one of the greatest war crimes in naval history? 

He didn’t want to believe it was a mere stroke of bad luck that put him there at that moment in history. Something good had to come out of this outright disaster. _Think, Jean, think._

He remembered exactly what happened, twenty four hours ago. His battleship was patrolling off the northwestern coast of the island on a foggy, dreary morning when they spotted a giant ocean liner, _RMS Aniastulia_. It flew no flag to indicate it was a neutral ship but every sea dog knew the cruiser was from Paradis’ neighboring country in the north, Noblain.

“What’s a cruise liner doing off the Strait of Zurten? Doesn’t she know she’s heading towards a war zone?” Jean mused to his first lieutenant, Darren Vogel, as he followed the _Aniastulia_ ’s movements with the scope. 

“Shall we signal, sir?” Vogel asked. Jean gave the go ahead. But the ocean liner had no response to their signal or radio transmission. Clearly the _HMS Erwin Smith_ was being willfully ignored. A technical malfunction, perhaps? He wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt.

“Cruiser starboard bow ahoy!” yelled out the quartermaster, Frank Schafer, his binoculars trained to one side of the cruise ship. 

“What is it?” Jean shouted back.

“Sighting in heavy fog, sir. Two points off the starboard bow, in the fog bank. Less than a mile distant.”

Jean peered through the glass. He stared at the telltale ripple on the water and had a sick feeling at the pit of his stomach. _What the fuck. Goddamn fog._ Was he seeing things? _No._ He decided to trust his instincts. “Outgoing fish! Warn the cruiser! Beat to quarters!” he shouted.

Immediately Vogel complied, “Signal the ship--torpedo red alert! We shall beat to quarters! Hands to your stations! Move! Jump to it, boys!” 

And then a few minutes later, just like that, all hell broke loose. Jean trained the scope less than half a nautical mile away from the cruise liner to see a Cistiduan military submarine surface then send a torpedo straight toward the _Aniastulia_ , the deadly missile streaking at nearly forty knots towards the giant passenger ship. Jean and his crew watched in open-mouthed horror as the torpedo penetrated the ship’s starboard bow, just beneath the wheelhouse, leaving a hole the size of a small house. The ship immediately started to list and put on water. _A hundred tonnes per second_ , Jean thought grimly. He was about to order a rescue when less than a minute later another explosion occurred, far more violent than the first, tearing apart the ship’s upper foredecks. Whole sections of ship metal were thrown into the air. _What the fuck, just what the fucking blazes._

“Commence rescue operations, Mr Vogel,” Jean immediately ordered his crew to mobilize, as well as contact the other ships in their fleet to launch a rescue mission. 

Jean looked through the scope to see the ocean liner’s passengers panicking on the gangways, losing their balance, toppling into the waters. Their captain must have ordered them to abandon ship already, but only a small portion of their lifeboats were intact. 

“Mr Schafer, run up the colours,” Jean ordered. 

_HMS Erwin Smith_ hoisted the flag and raced to the scene. 

“Coast Guard has responded, sir. Be here in approximately 1-2-0,” reported Jean’s _aide-de-camp_ , Corey Feldman. 

“Strike the bell! Launch the boats! Lower away!” Vogel shouted amidst the intensified bustling on the ship as she pulled up close to the sinking _Aniastulia_.

Like all their Paradian battleships the _HMS Erwin Smith_ was undermanned, so Jean got to work on the nitty gritty. His crew consisted of three veterans including himself and the rest fresh young faces straight out of the naval academy. “Bauer, Klein, Hofman, Lange, work on the emergency rudder pulley...Kramer, Sommer, pump back to control...Bergmann, keep blowing the whistle, hold communications with the engine room…,” he barked orders as they maneuvered the lifeboats. “Okay, boys. Now pull. Come on, draw...we need to give hard…”

It was only after it was over that Jean realized he had just orchestrated one of the largest rescue missions on their side of the world. Of the 1,748 passengers and crew on board the _Aniastulia_ , the Paradian Royal Navy and Coast Guard along with Paradian fishing vessels from the nearby villages rescued 682, many of them survivors who clung to the wreckage waiting for help to arrive. Some of those who didn’t make it were killed on impact in the second blast, while many drowned or died of hypothermia. Then there were the young children who could not survive floating on the frosty waters for more than half an hour; they quickly died of hypothermia. It was a miracle a Paradian ship was nearby that day, because a shipwrecked healthy adult could only survive for a few hours buoyed on the freezing sea water. The second blast had gutted the _Aniastulia_ and she sank in less than twenty minutes. 

Jean’s head was throbbing as he stood just outside the battleship’s bridge, every muscle in his body aching as their ship sailed back to their naval base in the northwestern part of the island. 

His mind was racing. Why was this cruise liner with so many passengers sent to the bottom? How could she have sunk in less than twenty minutes? Why did a Cistiduan submarine attack a passenger ship? Granted, Cistidu was at war with Noblain. But you don’t shoot at innocent ships. Or at least, that was what the international Cruiser Rules demanded. Cistidu was a nation to the west of Paradis and Jean was acquainted with their Navy chief, Admiral Ludwig Moller. Why would Cistidu so blatantly violate convention? As for Noblain, a nation to the northwest of Paradis, Jean also knew their Navy head, Admiral Nicholas Gainsborough. He had been Jean’s mentor, a legendary admiral whom he respected and admired. Why did he let one of their passenger ships, a famous and gigantic one at that, sail through a known war zone? These two men were naval combat veterans and weren’t stupid in the least. 

_What the hell’s going on_ , Jean wondered. But no one gave him an answer. All he could hear was the mournful howling of the sea winds, all he could see was the pitch black darkness of the ocean staring back at him without mercy. His sixth sense told him that something horrific was going on and he was caught in the crossfire.

“Here, admiral, it’s cold out,” someone’s voice broke his reverie, someone was handing him a thick, soft scarf the color of the turquoise sea on a clear and sunny day. It was a gift from Mikasa on his birthday last year. He’d taken it off during the rescue operation and his loyal aide, Feldman, had found it. Of course. He seemed to have a knack for finding stuff and knew exactly when to give them back to their owner. 

Jean took the scarf and gave him a small smile, “Thanks, Corey. Casualty report?” 

Feldman briefed him. And then, “Admiral, Captain Albrecht has something urgent, regarding objective ‘N-L’. Our listening posts picked up traffic between Gainsborough’s flag commander and the _Aniastulia_ , pretty heavy traffic volume an hour before the torpedoing. There were references to object ‘N-L’ and also ‘SE-4’. I think we’ve identified ‘N-L’. It’s the _Aniastulia mission_ ,” Feldman said, before muttering under his breath, “whatever that ‘mission’ is...”

Staring at the intercept report, Jean suddenly groaned. “Remember the intercept from last month, when the Noblainian reconnaissance pilot radioed his base that he’s spotted ‘SE-4’? We assumed it had to do with Cistidu U-boats. But now I see we’re wrong about that. He was speaking of us. They called us ‘ES’ in Noblain.”

“What’s ‘ES’ mean?”

“Eldian scum.”

“Oh.”

Jean continued, “SE-4 is our Battle Group 1. They like to reverse the numbers, you see. A for Z, 1 for 10 and so on. They know we have four BGs. It kept on saying here to avoid SE-4. They weren’t expecting us and didn’t want any eye witnesses to what was about to happen.”

Feldman caught on. “They thought we wouldn’t be in that position until three or four hours later. But since our freshwater condenser broke down you ordered us to cut the exercise short and return to port. It caught them off guard.” 

“If SE-4 were a U-boat the _Aniastulia_ wouldn’t have sailed straight into her range because they’d been warned earlier to avoid it,” Jean said. “A warning like that should have been transmitted in the clear, so that the cruise liner can get every word. The fact it was encoded means something else.”

This time it was Feldman’s turn to groan. “But it doesn’t make any sense, admiral. Why would Noblain deliberately put its own passenger ship in the line of fire?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I’ve a bad feeling we’re better off not knowing.”

“What do we do next, sir?”

“We mitigate the situation. Have this intercept coded before transmitting to fleet headquarters. Update me on Noblain activity off the Coast of Belspar. That Gainsborough lackey Barrington might order their northwestern force to strike the Sentia Isles as a means of diversion. Gainsborough will want me cleaning up that mess in hopes that I’ll forget all about this one. Get Hastings on the line. He must prepare his merchant marines for rapid evacuation upon order.”

“Aye-aye, sir,” Feldman responded, preparing to go back to work.

“You holding up okay, Corey?” Jean’s voice floated toward him, a note of concern in it. 

Feldman glanced back and managed a grin. “Yes, sir, putting my rusty medic skills to good use.”

“And the boys?”

“They’re alright, sir. Spooked by all the dead frozen bodies everywhere, I reckon. Baptism of ice for them, as we sailors from the north like to say.”

Jean nodded. “Well done today, Corey.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Feldman replied before ducking into the combat information room. Their ship was filled with bodies both living and lifeless; the entire crew was completely tuckered out. He wondered if he had to ask the paramedics waiting at the port to bring in the stretchers for the crew as well because--once the fatigue sets in--they may no longer be ambulatory. 

Wrapping the scarf around his neck, Jean took out a silver locket from underneath his shirt and opened it. It had a picture of him and Mikasa on their wedding day, cheek to cheek, both of them smiling so widely their eyes sparkled like diamonds, their faces about to crack from the abundance of joy they felt that day. The locket and necklace from which it hung were gifts from Mikasa on their first wedding anniversary. There was an inscription at the front: M♥J

 _I’m sorry, baby,_ Jean thought. _Seems like your husband’s knight-in-shining-armour moment has put Paradis in deep, deep shit._

Paradis had staunchly maintained its neutrality throughout the continental war, but now Jean feared they’d be embroiled in it, before eventually being forced to take sides. And he’ll be the one to have to make the unwanted, unwelcome, despicable decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References
> 
> Benedicte Delfaut (Director). (2017). "The Sinking of the Lusitania" [Documentary Film]. France, CPB Films.  
> Peter Weir (Director). (2003). "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World" [Drama Film]. United States, 20th Century Fox/Miramax Films/Universal Pictures/ Samuel Goldwyn Films.


	2. Like a Broken Record

> No shouting...No cussing...No swearing...No eye-rolling...ABSOLUTELY NO PUNCHING...Will arrive tomorrow...Until then be on your best behaviour…I beg of you...

Jean couldn’t help but snort at Armin’s telegram. What did he mean, no punching? What did Armin think he was, a kid? The last person he ever punched was Reiner Braun, and that was when he was still a teenager. He’s moved past the walloping phase a long time ago. _Armin’s being his usual anxious self,_ he thought with an amused little smile.

He put the telegram in his breast pocket and read the next one. Again from Armin.

[Continue reading this chapter on Hana's Blog](https://hanasblog.beverlyclaire.com/attack-on-titan-fanfiction-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-chapter-2/)


	3. Affairs of State

“The first item is for the Bureau of Ordnance: for procuring, producing, preserving and handling ordnance material, labor, fuel, material...the estimate is 40 million in place of the 20 million appropriated last year,” Horatio Kohl spoke, peering at the stack of papers while fiddling with his monocle. “Also, about the sum to be paid of this appropriation for services in naval yards, stations and ammunition amounting to 4 million. I’d like you to give us a full statement on that.”

“Mr Chairman, conditions have changed,” Jean replied. “The bureau has made every effort to submit a revised estimate after the _Aniastulia_ incident. This figure will allow us to run with the number of men and ships expected to be in the Navy during the indicated fiscal year, excluding the Hospital Corps.”

[Continue reading this chapter on Hana's Blog](https://hanasblog.beverlyclaire.com/attack-on-titan-fanfiction-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-chapter-3/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference
> 
> United States Congress House Committee on Naval Affairs. (1919). "Hearings before the Committee on Naval Affairs of the House of Representatives on Estimates Submitted by the Secretary of the Navy." Government Printing Office.


	4. A Warm Shower

“Jean, my darling, we have to get up at some point,” Mikasa persisted. They were naked in bed, bodies entwined, the sun threatening to rise over the horizon. She didn’t sound all too convincing. If she had her way they’d laze around like this all day. They deserved it; they hadn’t seen each other for three months. But duty called.

They had sex all throughout the night, only falling asleep out of sheer exhaustion, but this morning his scorching gaze told her he was ready for more. She woke up with his penis poking at her outer thigh and marveled at his stamina. He started to stroke her hair, which she’d grown out for him, the length it was when they first met as cadets. 

“What if we became deserters, just for today?” he joked, propping his head on an arm and gazing over his wife’s supple body, at the rosy tips of her breasts beneath long, silky waves of jet black hair. 

Giggling, she tore her eyes from his, attempting to untangle her limbs from his grasp. “You love the Navy. You built the Navy. You can never leave,” she pointed out. 

He placed a finger beneath her chin and tilted her head back so that she was unable to escape his burning gaze. She looked into his beautiful hazel eyes. _I will never stop wanting you,_ his eyes said. 

“Yet thee, oh bonny lass, wilt thou desert the Marines for thine poor sailor besotted by thy irresistible charms?” he teased her.

[ _Continue reading this chapter on Hana's Blog_ ](https://hanasblog.beverlyclaire.com/attack-on-titan-fanfiction-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-chapter-4/)


	5. The Cover-up

“Regarding the _Aniastulia_ crisis…” 

“Incident,” Jean corrected. He had himself convinced that if he officially referred to it as an incident then it will be less threatening. “A crisis is a situation involving a threat to Paradis, its citizens, military forces and possessions or vital interests that develops rapidly and creates a condition of such diplomatic, economic, political or military importance whereby commitment of Paradian military forces and resources is contemplated to achieve national objectives,” Jean found himself reciting from memory, straight from the manual. “The _Aniastulia_ incident has not yet reached crisis proportions for Paradis.” _Or so I would like to believe._

Armin rolled his eyes and started again. “Regarding the _Aniastulia_ incident...oh shove it, Jean, it’s just a matter of semantics. Your calling it an incident won’t make it less of a crisis.”

“Helps me sleep at night,” Jean pointed out with a derogatory laugh aimed at himself.

[ _Continue reading this chapter on Hana's Blog_ ](https://hanasblog.beverlyclaire.com/attack-on-titan-fanfiction-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-chapter-5/)


	6. Admiral Nicholas Gainborough

“Tell the court you saw two torpedos.”

Jean looked across at the famed sea dog. Admiral of the Fleet of the Royal Navy of the Noblainian Empire, Lord, Viscount and Duke, Nicholas Gainsborough. Awarded every knighthood and Order of Chivalry for his naval victories around the world, he was a living legend, a charming man in his fifties armed with a ready smile. But today he was scowling, far more rugged in manner than at any other time Jean had encountered him. The younger admiral shifted his weight as he held Gainsborough’s cold and steady gaze. The older man’s eyes were hard and unforgiving, his tone vicious, his demeanor harsh and intimidating. 

“Sir, I cannot speak of what I did not see,” Jean replied. He and the Noblainian admiral met just hours before Jean was to testify at an international tribunal in Noblain. Jean sailed from Paradis with his crew, and as soon as he arrived he was asked to meet with his counterpart admiral, alone and in private.

[ _Continue reading this chapter on Hana's Blog_ ](https://hanasblog.beverlyclaire.com/attack-on-titan-fanfiction-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-chapter-6/)


	7. Calm Before the Storm

“Why would they do such an inhuman act?” Prime Minister Otto Dietrich asked, incredulous. 

They were at the Palace in the capital, holding a top-level briefing, with the top-ranking officers of the military and government now faced with deciding the next course of action. Queen Historia was present, the shadow of concern in her eyes marring her resplendent beauty.

After a month of investigation, including intel gathered in Noblain and Vespucci via Levi’s network of operatives, the Paradian Royal Navy came up with the conclusion that Noblain intentionally, secretly loaded tonnes of contraband weapons in the _Aniastulia_. The list was mind-blowing: 6 million rounds of rifle cartridges and 45 tonnes of filled shells. It was enough to blow up an entire ship.

[ _Continue reading this chapter on Hana's Blog_ ](https://hanasblog.beverlyclaire.com/attack-on-titan-fanfiction-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-chapter-7/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References
> 
> The excerpt on helping boats in distress is from the document:  
> Maritime & Coastguard Agency, United Kingdom. International Convention for the Safety of Life at Sea. (2007). Government Digital Service.
> 
> “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer” is a quote from the film:  
> Francis Ford Coppola (Director), Mario Puzo (Screenplay). (1974). The Godfather Part II [Drama Film]. United States, Paramount Pictures/The Coppola Company.  
> \- Sun Tzu, Niccolo Machiavelli and Petrarch are also attributed similar quotes.
> 
> The scene where Jean’s friends stand up to declare their support of his decisions was inspired by the film:  
> Peter Jackson (Director). (2001). The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring [Drama Film]. United States/New Zealand, New Line Cinema/WingNut Films.


	8. The Invisible Rope

“It just blows my mind how Admiral Gainsborough can stoop this low,” Jean admitted to Levi, his disappointed tone laced with pain.

They were at a pier off the Port of Shiganshina. After the _Aniastulia_ sinking Jean went on land tour and spent his days in the capital and their military headquarters holding meetings with fellow leaders and doing the Parliament rounds and the tonnes of paperwork that always awaited him after his days at sea. Levi, meanwhile, had completed his land tour and was now bound for sea duty.

[ _Read the rest of the chapter on Hana's Blog_ ](https://hanasblog.beverlyclaire.com/attack-on-titan-fanfiction-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-chapter-8/)


End file.
